So not a productive week blog wise. I did start drafting a couple of posts but for the time being, they are abandoned. Work has felt surprisingly busy this week, normally that would be a good thing. Not sure what it is, but it feels like there is just this pervasive miasma of anxiety over the world at the moment, understandable, so many people have suffered and are suffering, fearing for family members or wondering how they will pay the bills.
I have no irrational anxiety about the pandemic and I have job security but it just feels like the very air I breath is heavy in tension. I am missing the camping, a small price to pay. I am lucky, in that a walk in the park is an absolute necessity with Ada, still allowed and we have lovely parks to do that in. But I am feeling a toll being taken in my mental health, a downward swing is definitely, in full swing at the moment, draining my energy and enthusiasm. I am not alone, I had at least two conversations this week where the stress of others felt like a wave of anxiety down the phone. The current lock down is a source of stress for many.
There are advantages, like a bit of a sleep in, or more time for a walk in the morning but the disruption to my routine has been more of a negative, than a positive. Really, really important to get a bit of my old discipline back into the day, get up earlier and make sure I get my quiet hour with a journal, a book and a coffee. Next week, I will be disciplined about making sure I get that precious hour without interruption. It was foolish to let my routine slip and I should have known better.
Last weekend we did not completely abandon camping but instead we set up camp in the back yard. For Easter Sunday we cooked over an open fire and spent the evening sitting under the stars and talking, no distractions from screens. It was such a success and I got the best night’s sleep, I am planning on doing the same thing this weekend. I am reminded of that bit in Cloud St where the grandmother moves out of the house and into a tent in the backyard, I think I know how she felt. It has been so long since I read that wonderful novel, perhaps it is time for a re-read.
Sorry a bit of a rambling post. How is everyone coping with our pandemic year?